if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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