do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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