I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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