I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
