I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
