sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
