at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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