Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
