forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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