O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
