I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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