so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
