This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
