im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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