hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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