Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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