Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
