Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
