when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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