I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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