I got chris browned last night
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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