Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
