you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Farmville is her only friend.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
