Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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