so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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