too bad you live with your parents still
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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