Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
