If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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