He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
