The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i came on her dog
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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