I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
