North Korea, Best Korea!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
