Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She even gives head with a lisp.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
