I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Randomize