I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
