i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
