I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i came on her dog
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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