how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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