If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize