I'm going to jail i love you
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
