i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
