Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
