Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
