we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
