Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just had sex bonerless
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
