the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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