just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
