I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize