we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
