He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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