the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
