I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I want her autograph on my taint
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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