we have pet lesbian snakes
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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