I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
