He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize