Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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