oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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