How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
