We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
