Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
